Friday, August 22, 2008

The Tank Town Modulators (1931) by Rob Chalfen

Recent Discoveries:
"The Tank Town Modulators", Pt. I

by Rob Chalfen

Dr: thought you might like update on recent wax discoveries, lately
unearthed in steamer trunk in Afghanistan. All are test pressings for Champion c. 1931, all unreleased. One can only surmise what might have motivated these recordings, or indeed Champion's reasons for signing them in the first place. Why so many sides were cut, yet none released, must for now remain a mystery. Your considered response is of cource welcome.

from Champion Recording Laboratories ledgers, Paramsia Illinois, April-July, 1931

"The Tank-Town Modulators" (kz/uke/tromb/C-melody sx / acc / tamb / opheclede / vocs; personel unknown).
This band is registered as 'Novelty combination', although the exact nature of the novelty provided is up for grabs.

All sides presumed fox-trots, until proven otherwise.

Recordings are presented in order of emergence from trunk.

Stop me, mama, before I do the Stroll

Cocktails for Three

What do you mean to do with those spoons?

What is the meaning of this?

Where Am I?

Clam Town Moan (A Bivalve Tizzy)

That's my eyebrow now

Yellow's the Number

Payola Shout

Knees On Fire

Imaginary Wednesdays

Harmed by Silence

That's Shelf-Life Jones

Silence & Doubt

Salt & Batteries

The Nicola Tesla Demonstration Record (One Step)

My Familiar Fingers

Somebody sell me a Clam

Miss Chaulky Neglects

Cylinder of Bees

Firefly Buzz

It's Clam Up!

Sidecar Signorita

Dont Bring Me Camphor

Dont Sit under the Tesla Coil (With anyone else but me)

Flunky Shuffle

Bestiality (waltz)

Fugue and Trepidation

Xylophobia / Pyromania (novelty suite in random tempo)

Face the Food

Not Now, We're Eating!

When the Face in the Mirror Says 'Hello'

Pass the Crustaceans

Face in the Custard

Electric Jimmy's Hello Song

That's not Mustard on my tie (it's Religion)

Dont Get Chummy

Touch But Don't Look

It Ain't Sacred, Whatcher Doin'

Imposition Tango

Im Null, He's Void

Gettin' Angry in Here

Fatso Wants A Planet

Mama's Got the Vapors (Daddy called the FBI)

Hobo Reveille

Not Yet, Not Here, Not Now

Pillbox Derby

Static Serenade

Ballad of Salad

Egyptian Take-Out

Perfidy (tango)

Simian Sam

No Thanks, Im Sleeping

Freeze That Question

"The Tank Town Modulators" Pt. II

While many have revelled in the recent discoveries of previously unheard sides by the Tank Town Modulators, few are aware of the many sides they are alleged to have recorded under assumed names for other labels. The following is a summary of most of those that have so far come to light - as the Gee Whiz Boys on Cameo & The Similar Six on Regal. These last, however, may well be a long-rumored 'doppelgager' band, which sounded and played exactly like the Modulators, but this may never be definitively known.

Slept All Day (But He Wont Say Why)
Frophouse Twitch
By the Light of Your Fire-proof Eyes
Bronze That Chicken
My Stucco Mood
Bodice Pout
St. Tilden's Imp
Slappin' the Cabbage (polka)
Reclamation - March
Levitation Waltz
Cremora - A Pan-American Whitener
The Floozie & the Chowder
Bet You Can't Get There Twice
Passivity - A Parlor Trifle
Pocketful of Bromides
Dance of the Flatfoot Hoaxers
Caution and Theft
The Second Louise
Trouser House Moan
Don't Get Ideas
Shumway Pout
That's Some Feelings, Dear
Alternator Phizz
Velocity Shout
Flip Town Skid
Waffle, Mr. Portly!
Simian Sound Salon
Take A Powder, Any Powder
What It Is, When It Was
Trunk Tramp Tiddle
Hymie Trombone
Technology Samba
Precambrian Swing
Bumpkin Floss
Elgar's Truffle
Tuna Effluvia
I Talk, You Shudder

Those in posession of these or any similar sides are probably hallucinating.

thank you


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